Madi Niesen
Bride
From dealing with the awful, terrible movies that I showed you when we first started dating (sorry about "Black Adam" and "Samurai Cop"),
to being the mother of our 3 cats sons (and all of the litter strewn everywhere that that entails), I can't think of anyone else that
I would rather spend the rest of my life with. I think one of my favorite memories was when we went to San Francisco to watch the 'Beetlejuice' musical. We were leaving
the theater and walking back to my car when I almost Charlie Brown slipped on definitely dog poop. You gave me an appropriate amount of
Chris Addams
Groom
(for the few non-nerds attending this shindig, these are out of 20):
Strength: 10 - can lift the 40lb cat litter easily and will help a friend move without complaint (thought he might need to take it easy the next day).
Dexterity: 13 - navigates the world in his own body well and helps me avoid running into things when my brain does not care about spatial awareness (aka all the time). Is also able to accurately throw soft objects at Monte and Nimbus when they decide they want to WWE Smackdown each other.
Constitution: 20 - would be about a 10, since in the rare instance he does get sick, he doesn't act like the world is about to end. But let's be completely honest here and admit that constantly putting up with my nonsense with the patience of a saint earns him a clean +10.
Intelligence: 16 - he would probably argue that he's a 12, 13 at best, but anyone who actually knows him and has seen him work through a complicated issue knows better.
Wisdom: 14 - I swear this man is able to pinpoint the exact millisecond that I will become an utter monster with hunger and feeds me before it gets to that point with remarkable precision. He's also, indisputably, the more level-headed of the two of us and navigates the toughest of emotions with incredible ease.
Charisma: (around strangers) 10 (around friends) 16 - nuff said.
All in all, he might have failed his first few charisma checks with me, but his constitution is worth its weight in gold. Till death saves do us part.
John Niesen
Father of the Bride
"My whole life, I've always been 100% a daddy's girl. Any time I needed help detangling my emotions (hello, angsty teenage years), someone to rant to about life (hello, baby adult years), or just someone to ask for advice about colour theory (*gestures wildly at wedding planning*) I immediately call Dad. He is by FAR the most calm and level-headed of the parental team that I adore, and we would all fall apart without him to keep us from exploding at each other (Dad, you actively chose two Leos and spawned another, this is at least partially your fault). Dad is also the reason that I fell in love with theatre since before I began forming lasting memories. The first few memories I have were of us attending various musicals, which he would gift me tickets to and a new outfit for the occasion for every Christmas growing up. While my vision for my wedding has changed dramatically over the years, one of the only things that hasn't is that moment where he walks me down the aisle, the both of us choking back tears. I cannot wait to have that moment brought to life." -Madi
Susan Parish
Mother of the Bride
"Since basically the day I was born, it was immediately obvious that Suze had pressed copy + paste and then I popped out. Our birthdays are 29 hours (and 30 years) apart, and we shared more than just a passing resemblance to each other from the go. One of Suze's favourite stories to tell people is the time that she was picking me up from a middle school dance and the volunteer mom manning the front entrance took one look at her and called over the intercom 'Madi Niesen, your mom is *definitely* here.' She'd never met that woman before in her life. After a lifetime of being her twin, though, I've gotta say that I could have had a much worse woman to look up to. Granted, her driving skills leave a LOT to be desired (the blinker isn't just there for decoration, momathy), but her compassion, her creative drive, and her infectious laugh are all things that I will admire for as long as I live." -Madi
Scott Johnson
Extra Father of the Bride
"Scottie is the reason that I firmly believe that no child could ever have a complete parental team with only two people on it. He has been my second dad for almost as long as I can remember, and is ALWAYS the one I call first when I need either practical advice (how to change a tire, when to call a lawyer, how to do eyeliner without looking like either an old woman or a delinquient) or if I've done messed up, there's a body to bury, and I don't want to admit it to mom or dad. I'm deeply grateful that I didn't scare you off when my dad decided to introduce his monster of a 5-year-old to his new boyfriend and, instead of being grateful that you cooked us a lovely dinner, I instead decided to climb onto the highest surface I could reach (the couch) and scream at the top of my lungs how much I hated lemon pepper. Truly, you deserve a medal for that one. Thank you for always being the one to get the various mystery stains out of nearly every article of clothing I own and for dragging me to three separate makeup counters when I was 12 to make sure I knew how to not look like a circus clown. I'd be forever lost without my Sparkle Dad." -Madi
Olivia Parish
Sister of the Bride/Bridesmaid
"I've known her for her entire life, and we've managed to survive first my teenage years and then hers (mostly) intact and (somewhat) sane. She's the funniest person I've ever met by leagues, and has been kicking our butts at Cards Against Humanity since she was 12. I'm thrilled that she took time out of her busy schedule as a brand new college grad to stand with me on my wedding day." -Madi
Bryan Owen
Father of the Groom
"An absolute saint of a father who put up with way too much of my shit growing up (sorry!) and somehow didn't go insane. You've always had my back and always let me know that you support me in everything I do, and I would be lost without you." -Chris
Kim Wilson Owen
Stepmother of the Groom
"Likewise put up with way too much of my shit growing up (sorry again!) and somehow managed to not strangle me in my sleep. From dealing with my emotional outbursts and lashing out as a child, to my mood swings as a teen, I can't thank you enough for sticking by my side and providing support." -Chris
Kathryn Leddy
Matron of Honor
"Katy and I met at Pappadeaux in 2018, but our friendship grew when I moved 2000 miles away the year after. For over 4 years we talked nearly every single day, and there is not another person in the world (except maybe Chris-and that's a HEFTY maybe) that knows me better than she does. I cannot imagine having anyone else backing me up on my big day." -Madi
Tom Bouwer
Best Man
"O' frabjous day! Tom has been my close friend and confidant for years, from slacking on project work (and playing Vindictus in class together), to giving me advice on how to make hellish reading schedules manageable during our time as students in the History department together. We've made terrible, awful decisions (why would you listen to me when it comes to rum consumption), had long game sessions together (one of which included a cleanly sliced through dinner plate), and had insightful late night conversations about the particular flavor notes of homemade mead. From sparking my lifelong passion in tabletop roleplaying games, to being an excellent healing duo, to being the best friend a person could ask for, Tom has been a guiding force in my life and I'm incredibly happy that they get to be part of my wedding party."- Chris
Jenna Williams
Bridesmaid
"I knew right away the first night we met when Jenna made an incredibly morbid joke at a social gathering and I was the only one who laughed inappropriately loudly that we were meant to be attached at the hip. Unfortunately, as is my luck, within months of finding each other, she abandoned me for Nebraska (thanks Michael). Thankfully, any time we catch up it's like no time has passed, and I can't wait to have my Nebula Ally by my side when I marry the love of my life." -Madi
Anthony Dudum
Groomsman
Bryn Howell
Bridesmaid
"Bryn and I met as founding members of The Council (if you know, you know, if you don't, you won't). The very first annual Council trip, we realised within hours of meeting in person that we shared the same brain cell and that weekend, neither of us had custody of it. Whenever these two Chaos Twins are in the same room, it's always either a party or a therapy session, and it's always the exact thing I need at any given moment. I've never met anyone as equally hilarious and wildly compassionate at precisely the right times as her. She's the best thing I've found on the internet (aside from Chris) (most of the time)." -Madi
Ian Ratliff
Groomsman
Mauye
Dearly Departed Demon
Our sweet baby squirrel 2/11/2003 - 08/27/2024
Nimbus
Menace #1
Lightly sentient dust bunny and ultimate mamma's boy
Orion
Menace #2
Graciously lending me Chris on a day-by-day basis
Monte
Perfect Angel
Never done anything wrong in his life